It seemed like a good idea...

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Spending a lazy Sunday afternoon sprawled out on my hammock, listening to the sounds of nature and getting some color. Ben and the boys were away so silence was my friend. Too bad the sun wasn't.

It was a beautiful spring day in West Michigan, temp around 70-degrees, not a cloud in the sky.  I dressed in one of my workout tank tops and shorts.  I scrubbed my face and wore a hairband to hold back my bangs. After all, I don't sunbathe often, so I had to maximize this opportunity for a suntan.

I set the clock on the bench of the deck and eased myself into the hammock. I positioned the pillow just right, rolled up my shorts as high as they would go, and pulled down the neckline of my tank top, tucking it in my bra, to maximize the sun exposure on my chest.

I sighed to myself with supreme satisfaction as I relaxed and cleared my mind.  Thoughts of skin cancer were not permitted. I was going au natural without protection today, a treat, because it is rare that I sunbathe.  Each spring I have a delusional thought that my skin will be kinder to me, suddenly I will become a bathing sun Goddess instead of a 30-something with fair skin and freckles.  Why did I think this spring would be different? 

I was enjoying myself so much...I fell asleep.  Forty-minutes later I awoke with a start.  The damage was not fully evident until later that evening when the burn grew redder and redder, and my doting husband smirked at my attempt at sunkissed golden skin.

Did I forget to mention I wore my husband's Oakley sunglasses? So I have an equally attractive white bridge across my nose and white eyes to offset the red burn on my forehead, nose and cheeks.

Next time I will certainly wear my swimsuit instead of the hideous tan/burn lines I currently have on my chest, arms and legs.  When I wear a simple v-neck t-shirt I have a narrow patch of red skin bordered on each side by my normal blinding white skin - I look like a candy cane.  People immediately notice and respond "ooh! you got some sun, doesn't that burn hurt?" Yeah, whatever.

My tender Michigan skin proves to be the same skin I've had for 34 years.  I don't know why I thought this year would be different. This morning it began the lizard-like peeling process. My forehead, my nose...I can't conceal my dimwitted fate even with makeup.

At least my skin will be healthy and appear young when I'm 90 BECAUSE IT DOESN"T ALLOW ME TO ENJOY THE SUN FOR OVER 20 minute intervals...ever.  I'll just continue to settle for the "freckles just grow closer together" look this summer.  I've never had a true tan, any hint of color peels off in days.

Lesson learned. Again.